Principle of Honoring Parents

Exodus 20:12 (NASB95)
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.

God commands children to honor their parents because the family is the building block of all civilization. If the husband submits to God and the wife submits to her own husband and their children submit to their parents then there will be divine order from top to bottom. This divine order flows through the avenue of submission.

Malachi 1:6 (NASB95)
6 “ ‘A son honors his father, and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?’ says the LORD of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name. But you say, ‘How have we despised Your name?’

Just as a son honors his father and a servant honors his master so people to show honor and respect for God. Obedience is key to honor as people honor those placed in authority over them. To honor authority is to honor God who placed that authority in charge.

Romans 13:1–2 (NASB95)
1 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.
2 Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves.

As people honor civil authority they are honoring the authorities that have been established by God to govern the society and nation. Those who resist civil authority are those who also oppose the ordinance established by God.

The scriptures are clear that people are to submit themselves to those placed in authority over them by God and in submitting to these authorities they are submitting to God himself.

Obey God Rather than Humans

Acts 5:28–29 (NASB95)
28 saying, “We gave you strict orders not to continue teaching in this name, and yet, you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us.”
29 But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

The religious authorities in Jerusalem commanded the Apostles not to teach or preach in the Name of Jesus. However, in this case they were being commanded by human authority to disobey what God had told them to do.

Acts 4:18–20 (NASB95)
18 And when they had summoned them, they commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus.
19 But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to give heed to you rather than to God, you be the judge;
20 for we cannot stop speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

The Apostles had to made a decision to either obey God or obey the religious leaders who commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the Name of Jesus. They made it clear to the religious leaders that they would not disobey God in trying to comply with the dictates of these human authorities. This is therefore an example of when a person has to choose to obey what God has told them to do rather than to obey those humans in authority over them.

First Priority was to God

Luke 2:42–51 (NASB95)
42 And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast;
43 and as they were returning, after spending the full number of days, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it,
44 but supposed Him to be in the caravan, and went a day’s journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances.
45 When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him.
46 Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions.
47 And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers.
48 When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You.”
49 And He said to them, “Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?”
50 But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them.
51 And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

When Jesus was age twelve, he stayed behind for three days in Jerusalem and his parents were unaware of it. This parents returned to Jerusalem and found him in the temple sitting among the teachers of the law both listening to them and asking them questions. Those who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers for a boy of such young age. When his parents found him they complained that he had caused them great worry but he said he had to be in His Father’s house (God’s Temple). He returned with his parents and he subjected himself to his parents at home.

The point here is that obeying God was first priority over obedience to parents. As a general rule children should obey their parents in almost everything since most parents would make decisions for their own benefit. Only if the parents asked them to do something ungodly should they refuse such an order. The overall general principle is that children obey their own parent on almost all things. The parents can help make decisions for the child until that child is mature enough to make sound decisions of their own.

When the Directive of God comes into Conflict with Parents

There comes a time however when a youth will come to a place where God will speak to them and they will know clearly in their hearts that this is a directive from God. There may even be conflict between what God told them to do and what their parents want them to do. It will be at this point that the young person will have to decide if they will obey human parents or obey God.

Note: Clicking on the image below will open the associated saved video:

In this video clip above a young woman wants to marry and have children but she is afraid of what her family would say if she drops out of college to start a family. Charlie Kirk makes it clear that we are to honor our parents because that is a command of God and honoring parents is a bridge to honoring God. Under most circumstances a child should always honor their parents. However, there are certain occasions when God will speak to an adult-child and give them directions which could be in conflict with the desires of their parents (such as this girl who wants to marry and have a family instead of continuing with college). In the United States they have set the age of 18 as the time when a person is recognized as an adult so if a person is over 18 then they can legally made decisions for themselves (without consent of a legal guardian). But under certain situations, God may speak to a person and give then clear directions (even before they are legally age 18). If such a situation occurs they will have to obey God over their parents because God is a higher authority.

This occurred in the case of Lester Sumrall who was saved and called into the ministry at the young age of 17. He was raised up from the deathbed and cured from an uncurable disease and gave his heart to the Lord. It was at this time that the Lord called him to go out and preach the gospel. His father was furious and told him that he could not go out and be a preacher! But God spoke to Lester that he must obey the call of God so he left home at age 17 (even against his natural father’s wishes) to begin what later became to be a worldwide ministry.

See the link “My Story for His Glory” for more details.

The point here is that God may instruct a person to do something (even before they reach the legal age recognized as a adult by the country where they happen to reside). They will have to obey God rather than humans (including parents) if their parent’s will contradicts the will of God for their lives. Again, generally children should always obey their parents especially when they are young because the parents typically have more wisdom which is needed for making a decision for a child before they are mature enough to go on their own.

I use the example of Lester Sumrall because he was technically under the legal age when he was saved and healed and called into the ministry and had to obey God over his earthly father who resisted him being a preacher.

When I was in college in 1980-1983 I was also called by God to quit college and enter into the ministry. At that time I was already age 21 and fully a legal adult. However, my own earthly father only had a GED and he wanted to live is life through his children so he wanted me to have a degree which he never had himself. He was furious when I quit college and I realize now that I should have not returned home but went straight into the ministry immediately. I had already been conducting preaching in connection with “Rock Seminars” which exposed the evils of Rock Music. I could have just continued presenting seminars in churches and other avenues. I assumed God would speak to me for more clear direction so I foolishly moved home and then faced the wrath of my father. But in fact, I know that it was God’s will for me to quit college and I should not have told anyone but just gone out and started working in the ministry. The point I want to make here is that there are times when the call of God can actually come into conflict with the instructions of human parents and on these rare occasions a person (who knows clearly they heard God’s direction) must obey God rather than humans (including parents).

In fact my own father spoke to me when I was over age 40 and he still asked me when I was going to get a job and support myself. I bluntly told him that if I ever get a secular job again then I will end up in hell for forsaking the ministry.

See the link “Levites Commanded to Live of Ministry” and “Fivefold Ministry Topics” for more details.

Marry and Have Children

Note: Click on the image below to open the associated stored video:

Tucker Carlson speaks to young people to marry as soon as possible and have children (even in high school) because there is nothing more important. This is important for them to start a family while they are still young. Young men should trust God to meet their needs because if they try to wait until they can afford it then they will never get married.

So dropping out of a useless college and dropping a useless liberal degree to start a family is a good plan and this is still true even if parents resist their children from doing so. If a child is old enough to bear children then typically they should be mature enough to start making decisions for their own lives. It is a big mistake if a child is trying to live up to the plan their parents have set up for them (if such a plan is not in their best interests). Parents often try to live their lives through their own children and can push them toward education or professions which the child has no interest in. Parents have to know when it is time to let their children go and this includes allowing them to marry even without going to college first.

This is especially true if a young man is called into the ministry just as in the case of Elisa.

Obeying God Over Parents

1 Kings 19:19–21 (NASB95)
19 So he departed from there and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, while he was plowing with twelve pairs of oxen before him, and he with the twelfth. And Elijah passed over to him and threw his mantle on him.
20 He left the oxen and ran after Elijah and said, “Please let me kiss my father and my mother, then I will follow you.” And he said to him, “Go back again, for what have I done to you?”
21 So he returned from following him, and took the pair of oxen and sacrificed them and boiled their flesh with the implements of the oxen, and gave it to the people and they ate. Then he arose and followed Elijah and ministered to him.

In the case of Elisha (the son of Shaphat) he was called by God to become the successor of the prophet Elijah. Elijah placed his mantel over his shoulders indicating that Elisha was to come under his covering and authority to begin his mentoring program to train him as a prophet. Elisha understood this and requested that he return home to kiss his mother and father goodbye. But Elijah said that he had to choose between the ministry or his parents. If Elisha did not follow Elijah immediately then he could just return to his plowing work and forget the whole idea! So to show his commitment Elisha slaughtered the pair of oxen he was using and used the wood of the plow to cook the meat and fed it to the rest of the eleven plowing crew members. Thus Elisha showed that he burned his bridges behind him and was never going to return to his secular job of being a plowing crew foreman. Then Elisha followed Elijah and served him as his apprentice.

Matthew 10:37–38 (NASB95)
37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
38 “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.

Jesus said that anyone who loves father or mother more than him was not worthy of him. Jesus must be placed before the closest human relationships on earth (even including that of father or mother).

So there are times when a young person will reach an age where they must obey God in the impression that God is imparting into their hearts. They must obey God even above human authority (including even parental authority). If they know clearly God is speaking to them then they must obey even if their parents are against it. It seems to me that there are times they should just go and obey God without returning home and telling their parents just as in the case of Elisha who followed Elijah and never returned home again.

This can apply to a layman as well (those not called into the Fivefold Ministry) in that if they know they are supposed to marry then they should just do it and marry and trust God to provide for their needs. At times it might be better to just obey God and not even consult the parents about it. In my own case I wish I had just left college and went directly into the ministry (which I had already been engaged in). In hindsight it was a mistake to tell my parents about this and incur the wrath of my natural father who wanted to live his own success through me and brag to his friends that his son has a degree etc. But a man has to live out the plan of God which God has given to him (rather than the plan his parents might try to assemble for him). There is a big difference between obeying God’s plan and obeying the plan created by parents. Only God knows the perfect plan for a person and which path is right for a person and what they are best suited for. Never should they try to please humans and take a course in life for which they are unsuited for. They cannot live their lives for their parents but must live their lives for God alone and follow the plan God has for their lives.

Again, we are to generally honor our parents in most things (with the exception being that if the plan of God for our lives contradicts the plan of human parents then we have to follow God instead of mankind). This can alter the path which a person takes in life if they follow parents wishes and not seek to fulfill the plan which God has created for their lives.

So yes there is a place where “honoring parents” can be misapplied if the child is grown enough to be ready to marry and start a family or to fulfill a ministry mandate from God (even if they are not technically of legal age yet). But once they know they heard God the should obey God rather than man. Just do it (even without telling parents about it) as in the case of Elisha who just left (without telling his parents) and never came back.

Each person must obey God and if a conflict arises with what God has said and what humans tell them to do then they are to obey God every time.